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Some men choose to become emotionally unavailable in relationships. They either ignore or sabotage their partner. Why does this happen? Who benefits from emotional detachment?
A relationship requires two partners who share similar values and beliefs. If one person becomes emotionally detached from the other, the relationship suffers. The problem is that some men choose to detach from their significant other because they want to control her life.
What are some reasons why men choose to become emotionally unavailable? There are a variety of reasons why someone might say they don’t want to get too close emotionally.
Emotionally Unavailable Men Dont Feel Safe .
If he feels unsafe around her, he will try to keep his distance so she won’t hurt him again. If he isn’t careful, his feelings for her can turn into love. Once he opens himself up emotionally to her, it’s hard to stop.
He thinks if he gives his girlfriend what she wants, she’ll leave him
He believes opening up his heart means risking losing her. So, he clams up and keeps his emotions locked down tight. But he still loves her, deep down inside.
He has issues with intimacy and sharing his feelings
As long as he keeps his feelings hidden, he can pretend nothing bad ever happened between them. When he reveals how he really feels about his girlfriend, the whole thing could blow up in his face.
He says he likes women better than men because they’re more sensitive
His girlfriend may be different than all the others he dated before her. She tells him how much she cares about him. That makes him feel special. So, when he opens up to her, he tries to show her just how special he is by not being needy.
He tries to protect himself from getting hurt
When he gets upset over something that happens in his relationship, he shuts down and pretends like everything is fine. This is called an “emotional shutdown” or “emotional distancing.” It helps him avoid feeling vulnerable and hurts his partner even worse.
He’s afraid of commitment
One of the main reasons that many guys become emotionally unavailable is because they don’t know how to commit. He just assumes things will work out without having to get serious.
He’s been raised by parents or siblings who were emotionally unavailable
He was taught that if you loved someone, you should never let go of your feelings. If you cared too much, you would lose yourself or end up broken. So, he learned to stay distant and pretend nothing matters.
His friends have always done it
Instead of learning how to handle his own emotions, he watched his friends handle theirs. He didn’t know any other way to live.
He has low self-esteem
Being emotionally unavailable lets him off the hook. No matter what he does, nothing changes how he feels about himself. He doesn’t think anyone else sees him for who he really is.
He’s scared to death of rejection
He knows everyone needs love and acceptance, but he can’t stand being rejected. So, he avoids showing people how he truly feels.
How to Make a Man Be Available Emotionally For You.
Here are 3 ways on how to make a man emotionally available for you:
#1) Tell him you care
Be honest about your feelings toward him. Say how often you think about him, where you want to see their relationship go, and which part(s) of him excite you. Let him know how much you appreciate all the wonderful qualities he possesses.
#2) Show interest in him
Try talking about subjects that appeal to both of you. Get involved in activities that bring out the best in each of you. Listen attentively, laugh at his jokes, compliment his cooking skills, and encourage him to share his thoughts.
#3 )Treat him like a king
Don’t expect men to be as responsive to your advances as women (because they aren’t). Instead, show him affection and appreciation throughout the day.
The Bottom Line
Emotional availability refers to the degree of closeness that exists within a relationship. One reason why some men become emotionally unavailable is because of fear. Their fears prevent them from expressing themselves fully to their partners.
